But Then Something Happened: A Story of Everyday Dementia
Chris Carling (2012) ISBN: 978-0957307902
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'But Then Something Happened: A Story of Everyday Dementia' is a moving and highly topical memoir dealing
with a subject never far from the news, the increase in dementia in families. It tells the story of one
family hit by a double dose of dementia, as Dad, Fred, develops vascular dementia at the same time as Mum,
Mary, is struck by Alzheimer's. Fred and Mary are a quirky long-married couple with a relationship that's
unique, as all marriages are. The focus of the story is on what happens to their couple, their long love
story, as both gradually lose their minds. And on what happens to their relationship with their daughter,
Chris, the narrator, who falls into an 'amateur carer' role, groping her way uncertainly around 'the system',
learning at first hand how dementia changes everything in ordinary and extraordinary ways.
The memoir is in two parts: in Part One Chris tells the dramatic family story, with both warmth and humour.
The writing is direct and honest, exploring the medical side of Alzheimer's and vascular dementia yet keeping
the focus firmly on relationships and emotions. One highly original chapter includes 'Ten scenes of joy and
sadness', written as mini-dramas to illustrate the way dementia sufferers still have a rich emotional life,
a facet frequently ignored in the focus on dementia as loss of mind.
Part Two is more reflective, a chance to stand back and ask questions such as why did we not see all
this coming? It also provides an opportunity to examine what we can learn from dementia, the losses and
(a very few) gains that dementia brings. A final Resources section lists organisations offering help and support.
About The Author
As well as being a carer, Chris Carling has had a varied career as
university lecturer, scriptwriter of award-winning training films,
communications consultant, trainer, feature writer and most recently
personal, business and career coach. Co-author of two books on communication
('Understanding Language' and 'The Limitations of Language', both published
by Macmillan), she has also produced numerous feature articles for national
newspapers and magazines, ebooks on Overcoming Anxiety and Work Life Balance
(published by Pansophix), and a long-running personal growth enewsletter,
Present Perfect (50+ issues archived at www.chriscoach.com). She lives and
works in Cambridge.
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